Bird Crisis and Middle East Crisis: SOLVED!

Porthos is letting me finish what I started here on his blog, so it’s me again, Athos, with the best possible news for you today about the Heron-Egret crisis. It has ended! And the two flocks have reached an agreement that may even spill over and solve the Middle East crisis!

Last night, Porthos, Aramis and myself had one of the biggest thrills of our long, long lives by becoming diplomatic envoys on a successful peace-making mission that has sweeping implications. Art dropped by and surprised us yesterday afternoon in the middle of our frantic planning session.

“Hey guys,” he said, “slow down a minute. It’s so good to see you again. I saw your blog entries and had to come to the golf course to find you. I am impressed almost beyond words at your resourcefulness and your role in the tense situation at the pond.”

“’Almost’?” I said.

“Right,” said Art. “You know I’m never at a loss for words. There were a few places where I did wonder if you were offending anybody.”

“Remember what we decided about that?” said Aramis. “We are the perfect immortal ducks to risk it. To quote Athos, ‘What are they gonna do, kill us?’”

“Well, I confess I’ll be totally speechless if you guys really do manage to solve the Middle East crisis.”

“It’s possible,” said Porthos, splashing around with excitement, antsy to get back in the public eye.
 

“Well, I’ll sure be watching for news bulletins,” said Art.

This morning, these local headlines appeared in the subdivision newsletter –

LOCAL Swamp Battle Ends as Combatants Reconcile

But that was just the beginning. The news is going viral around the world.

As I said in my last post, I witnessed a miracle a week ago in the Egret camp.

Here's how it all came about.

The head of maintenance for the park – a tough ex-marine the other humans called “Jim” – ordered his crew to re-excavate an old well that had been plugged as long as anyone could remember, in hopes of supplying fresh water once again to the pond.

As the crew dug all day, an Egret priest circled overhead watching them, for the well was on their side of the pond near an area where Egrets gathered for prayer. The men threw dirt and rocks into growing piles next to the deepening hole. At 5:00, as they threw their last shovelful onto a pile, something extraordinary caught the priest’s eye as he flew above them.

 

There on top of the last pile were some stones that looked different from all the other debris. The crew noticed nothing as they gathered their tools to leave. But the Egret priest’s sharp vision saw the vague outline of something he had been taught was just a myth – the three sacred stones of the Herons!

His mind raced. No bird in the pond must ever know that the stones were found! Just think how the Herons would celebrate! They would gloat and try to use them to increase their power and influence. I must warn the other Egrets! I need to get help to hide the stones again, or better yet, destroy them.

But as he swooped down for a better look, he saw something that changed everything. Feeling a supernatural surge of energy, the Egret priest soared off to tell his flock, shouting as he flew.

 

When he arrived, I was getting ready to leave the Egret camp after getting an interview with one of their military leaders. Instead of trying to hide his discovery, the Egret priest now wanted the world to know about it. He recognized me as a journalist and called me over as he told the other Egrets what he had found.

They were not the sacred stones of the Herons! They were El’s ancient love gift to the Egrets!

Many of the religious leaders were moved by this and started discussing the possibility of peace talks. But the military leaders were not interested. In fact, they were very hostile about it, insisted on their right to fight to the death. I remained quietly out of the way, listening to their prehistoric sounding squeals.

I heard the moderate Egrets in a yelling match with the radicals. I got a message to the Egret priest who had found the stones, offering my services as a mediator at peace talks with the Herons.

Well, it didn't happen overnight. The immediate result of that discovery

was an Egret civil war and more senseless bloodshed. Of course both sides called on El to help them. The moderates, who got through to the right El, prevailed. They had their ambassador fly to the golf course and take me up on my offer. So I told Porthos and Aramis, and last night the three of us flew back to the pond together.

It took all three of us to get the Heron leaders to the negotiating table. Then, because this whole thing had originally been my idea, I took the lead in mediating the peace talks.

The Herons confirmed that the Egrets’ stones were just like the sacred stones of their own tradition, except theirs had read, “My Dear Herons.”  Therefore, they finally recognized that the Egrets were just as favored by El as they were. And the Egrets, tired of bloodshed, were ready to give reconciliation a try.

“But,” piped up the Heron high priest, “it’s not entirely fair. Our stones were lost in the ancient war and still have never been found.”

This was where our diplomacy saved the day. We got the Egrets to agree to have the writing on their central stone modified so that the stones would apply to all of Abe’s descendants. Then we convinced both sides to display the stones on an elevated platform right in the middle of the pond, which would henceforth be shared in its entirety by both flocks.

To take advantage of our momentum, I immediately took steps for this breakthrough to resonate in global circles. 

The park maintenance director Jim is the only other human currently on the planet who can talk with us the way Art does. I knew he had military and government connections from his service in the Marines during Viet Nam. So after I explained to him all that had happened (which took the better part of an afternoon), he picked up the phone and called in some favors. 

Jim managed to get through to key U.S. ambassadors in the Middle East, who in turn relayed the news to their counterparts in Israel, Egypt, Lebanon, and Syria.
 

Wherever fighting was along Arab-Israeli lines, truces were called to evaluate the implications of the news from Texas. In places where the conflict was such a complicated civil war that even the ambassadors didn’t understand it, the news was ignored.

Nevertheless, we considered it a major triumph when we saw this headline this afternoon in a special late edition of the New York Times:

SACRED STONES UNEARTHED IN TEXAS POND!

Some Middle East Showdowns Averted As Forces Study Birds

It’s also important to know that Jim was successful in re-digging that well near the pond. The trend toward stagnant water is being reversed, and Heron and Egret families are nesting in the same trees and raising their chicks to grow up playing together.

Us? We plan to go back soon to live there too. I think that about wraps it up…  Hey, wait, Art just dropped by again and would like to say a few words.

“Wow! You did it! I’m speechless… but I would like to say a few words. Most importantly, not only am I proud of you guys, but you’ve inspired me to dig in and finish a novel I started about the Middle East before I met you. Because of that, I may not visit for a while. And because of that, you may not be posting on here for a while, if you get my drift. But I always know where to find you if no other methods of procrastination are working for me. Enjoy the pond!"